My baby is 1. It happened so fast and slow all at the same time. It was the longest and shortest year of my life and all sorts of crazy in between. I had awful anxiety when I was pregnant with you. I mean debilitating. I didn’t want the other three to leave my side. Sending the kids to school was torture every morning. I’m so sad for anyone suffering from anxiety, its very real and exhausting to live in such fear all the time. After all the surgery and recovery I finally went to my midwife for my 6 week check up which was more like 6 month check up and she said to me “Your anxiety was so bad for a reason. It prepared you for all of this. To be on high alert and sensitive to Jack’s needs.” I’ve had more patience with you. I’ve relaxed a lot because of you. My whole life I’ve worried about what could happen. Stressed over things that would never happen. I never for a minute thought I’d go through what we went through. I try not to waste my time on the what ifs. I don’t care about what other people will think. I don’t have time for that and don’t want to waste the precious time I do have worrying about things that don’t matter. You put my entire life in perspective, and I thank you for that. I’ve felt a deeper love for our whole family because of you. You have changed our lives more than I could have ever imagined. You are so silly and love to make us laugh. You are a daredevil. The complete opposite of your brother. You climb on everything and usually get stuck. I always say you are going to be a wild man jumping off the roof of the house. You say “more” a million times in a row while squeezing your hands. You say “Hi” to every single person that walks by. You get called a girl every time, without fail. When I correct them they say well he’s just too beautiful to be a boy. I agree you are just too beautiful. My little slice of heaven on earth. You are my sunshine. I love you to the moon and back. I love you so bad Jack, thank you for letting me be your mom.