i’ve been debating on the timing of writing this for a while now. thinking of where to even begin. so i’ll start all the way back. we always talk about moving to another state. i mean always. i’m more of a fantasizer and ivan’s more of a realist. every vacation we take i’m weighing whether we could live there or not. doesn’t matter where it is. i start picking out my favorite neighborhood and how i could walk to the store and look how cute that school is. i just really enjoy day dreaming and ivan likes to bring me back down to earth. he always jokes that if i married someone like myself we’d be homeless. he’s my voice of reason.  right before we bought the farm i told him this is our chance to move if we want to take it. we could buy the farm or we could move out of state. he pushed for buying the farm and i resigned to living in az forever and truth be told i was happy with that.


a few months back after the longest hardest winter henri has had with his asthma, ivan said to me we have to move. now i’m thinking he’s joking. i’ve said lets move a million and one times and he always reigns me in and goes over all the reasons we can’t. so i said really??? he said yes, he went over how he couldn’t forgive himself if henri had life long asthma and he could have somehow prevented it. herni’s asthma has been no joke this year. he’s been on more antibiotic + steroids + nasal sprays + saline solutions + allergy pills + inhalers + essential oils + vapor rubs + cough drops (did i forget anything???) than you can imagine. none of them have worked. we try every preventative medicine we can to keep it from turning into an antibiotic + steroid situation but we still keep going there. within a week of getting off the antibiotics + steroids he starts coughing again which then turns into fevers and a rattling chest. the coughing is a enough to make you mad. its all day and allll night. no one sleeps. his allergy dr. said to me right now this is childhood asthma and he can grow out of it but if he keeps having this many episodes it will be life long.


a little bit about henri’s asthma- its triggered by allergies and sickness. he also has cough variant asthma so its a constant cough. its been so bad he couldn’t even talk, he would start coughing even trying to get words out. he gets fevers from it. he feels down and out. he can’t play grass sports. he can’t play on a slip and slide or in wet grass. he can’t be outside when the weather does its random spikes + drops or windy days or those health advisory days. he can’t be around a camp fire. he can’t go outside if anyone on the whole street is mowing. its exhausting and sometime i let my guard down and let him play in the irrigation and then boy do we pay for it. his asthma affects every aspect of his life and ours too. its difficult to watch your baby suffer constantly. i’ve gone back and forth with his allergy dr. and we’ve both come to the agreement this is a bad place for henri to live. az used to be the best place for asthma suffers. back when it was a dessert. then everyone decided to bring their nice pretty flowers and plants and this dry air just blows the pollen all around. that combined with the over population and topography of this valley. its a disaster for asthma + allergy suffers. we bloom year round. if magically we get a freeze and everything dies we are still dealing with sicknesses which triggers his asthma.


we had been going back and forth with the idea of moving when one night we ran into some friends at our favorite sushi joint.  they said they wanted to bring their brother over to see our house. they were looking for something just like our house. we looked at each other and i said do they want our house? they didn’t end up buying our house but that set the whole thing in motion. we listed it and got a buyer right away. we love the family buying the house which makes it so much easier. they love everything about the house and are even buying our furniture!! i have to admit i did cry my eyes out when they sent in the offer. this was supposed to be the house i raised my kids in. but having an awesome family who can appreciate all the love and handwork we put into this place makes it easier. that and all the coughing. i know this is whats right for our family. i know i can’t continue to keep medicating henri with no relief from his symptoms. he is allergic to every tree on our property + the animals around us + the grass. we’ve made great memories here. i loved remodeling this house. i’d do it again in a heartbeat. i’m also excited for this next chapter.


so whats next?? i get asked this daily. well we don’t really know. how fun is that? i’ve let myself get wrapped up in the nonsense i get for moving the kids. after talking with a friend who travels/moves a lot with kids it made me realize we are all just doing the best we can and what works for one family doesn’t work for another. this works for us. my kids are happy + well adjusted. they love traveling. they love adventure. they have an amazing relationship with each other and with us. henri’s health is what is most important to all of us. we are trying to decide our next step. we want a vacation or fun adventure before we settle into our new life. do we travel up the coast, go to our favorite cities along the way and end up seattle? do we go the opposite direction and head towards the east coast then up to boston and back west? (thats a lot of car time) do we just go to hawaii? for a week or a month?? maybe for good. (my hang up with hawaii is the lack of good healthcare and schooling. i need a good pediatric cardiologist) we need to be on the water. humidity is so good for henri. north carolina? boston? oregon or seattle?? we are lucky enough to be able to pick any city and go. so for now we wait for this house to close and then we are off. any ideas, thoughts or advice is welcome. where would you go? we want an adventure but need to be near a city (doctors for both jack and henri) the ocean or water for the humidity and a great community for families.

i figure this is a once in a lifetime chance. we won’t have much for belongings. we are sort of free of any baggage. i live for this kind of freedom. i can’t wait for henri to be able to breathe without inhalers + medicine. i love a good adventure and can’t wait to start this one. stay tuned!


lots of good memories made in this house












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i woke up this morning with jack while everyone else slept in. i really love that quiet time in the morning when its just the two of us or even better yet if i’m the only one up and can have a peaceful moment to prepare myself for the day. luckily its sunday, we don’t have church until 12:30 so we can all be a little lazy. i decided to make a blueberry crumble with the berries i needed to use up in the fridge. i sort of threw this together and it turned out really good.


blueberry crumb cake

3/4 c. white sugar

1/4 c. butter, softened

1 tsp. vanilla

2 c. flour

1/2 c. milk


cream together sugar + butter + egg + vanilla in a mixer

in a separate bowl combine flour + baking powder + salt

alternate pouring dry ingredients and milk into mixer

stir in blueberries by hand


crumb topping

combine with a fork

1/4 c. butter, softened

bake in a 9×9 pan on 375 for 30 minutes or until done

(i doubled the topping because you can never have too much topping)





these sunflowers sprouted up in the yard.  such a bright yellow, i love the color in the yard.


this swing is the best investment we’ve ever made.





the chickens are back to laying eggs. did you know they don’t lay during the winter unless you put a light in their coop?  they need a certain amount of daylight to lay.  we gave them the winter off.  we sure are happy they’re back in business.



i finally convinced ivan to take me to lunch at 4pm on saturday.  i was starved and this burger always hits the spot


we have all been staying up way too late and sleeping in even later.  i really really like these lazy morning and this cute face snuggling up in my bed.


sharing chocolate milk.


pancakes on repeat every morning.  jack always has us all laughing.


who knew chickens could be such loving animals.  our girls are the sweetest.


jack pushes the stool up to the window and just stares outside.  he gets so excited if a car drives by.


“hey guys smile”


that face.  i sometimes think about how awful it would be to not know this face.  this personality.  this jack.


and this sweet face.  man i’m lucky


a sunday morning spent in your pj’s and robe is a sunday well spent.



another school year has come and gone.  i can’t believe it flew by so fast.  doesn’t it seem like the years are just flying by?  they say with kids the days are long and the years are short. aint that the truth.  elle graduated from preschool this week and my heart has been very heavy.  she’s so easy and good.  i love having her home with me.  jack can be hard and wild.  she’s a breath of fresh air.  theres this strange shift in my family, we are going from that young family with all the little ones to having older kids who are self sufficient.  you don’t realize how much you love those crazy chaotic times until you see them slowly slipping away.  its still crazy around here and they aren’t big yet.  but i see their independence coming in strong and some of them don’t need me like they used to.  this whole mothering business is the best thing in the whole world.  its what i was made for.  i could hold a baby in my arms for the rest of my life.  i’m not that mom who’s kicking them out the door shouting my independence from the roof tops.  i’m that mom crying at preschool graduation knowing i’ve only got one more of these graduations left.  its all so bittersweet.  watching them grow is amazing.  so while i can’t believe another school year is behind us i am so excited for summer break.  i can’t wait to stay up late watching movies + sleep in even later, drag our blankets to the couch and lay around because we have nowhere to be.  i don’t sign my kids up for any activities during summer.  they are all mine.  we’ve got some really fun adventures coming.  ill get into more of those later once they’re set in stone.  but lets just say for now its gonna be good.




we’ve been picking our neighbors apricots and peaches every night on our evening walks and eating them on the way home.  they are tiny and perfectly sweet.


we really love tractors + trucks.  jack looks so cute pretending he’s reading.


heading out to look at the animals around the neighborhood.  our favorite right now is the emu.


“here chicky’s, come eat it” feeding the chicks some breakfast


jack is happiest when we are down on the floor at his level.  so we spend a lot of time on the ground.


ava did elle’s hair in a bunch of braids before bed.  elle loved it so much she slept in them and wore them to school the next day.  theres nothing i love more than seeing my kids doing nice things for each other.


jacks first real dose of hard rain.  he just sat there staring out the window.  i haven’t heard it rain that hard in years and then in the blink of an eye it was gone and the sun was shining.  thats az for you.

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