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Life Lately

I’m getting used to this small house, farm living life.  When we first started looking for a house we both agreed we needed more space.  We had slowly downsized the past few houses from 4,000 sq. ft to 2,400 and we were dying in that.  When we saw this house I just knew this was the one.  It was small we even left and laughed that there was no way.  Before we got home I told Ivan to go back.  I said I think it can work.  My sister lives in California and everything in California is on a much smaller scale.  So when I told her the size of our house she laughed and said that would be like a mansion to them.  She’s helped me realize we live in excess.  We buy more and more junk and fill up our houses until they are cluttered and we are constantly cleaning just to keep the clutter at bay.  Why do we torture ourselves?  Why do we hang on to useless crap?  Do you ever go to a hotel and think, I could live like this?  This is actually really nice, I have what I need.  I do.  So Ive been on a quest to de-clutter the house, get rid of stuff and simplify.  Can I just tell you how freeing it is.  I still have a ways to go.  But man have I gotten rid of so much stuff and its like a weight lifted.  You should try it. Just watch an episode of hoarders buried alive.  It’ll get your buns cleaning in no time.  I love having my family so close together in this house, it doesn’t feel small because we spend so much time outside.  Which is one thing we never did in our last tiny backyard.  We are on over an acre and we have huge trees that sway in the wind, I really love that sound.  Its peaceful in the backyard.  I feel like I’m in a small town but I get to be right in the middle of the city.  Its pretty perfect.

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Oh Elle I don’t even know where to begin with you.  You are my best girlfriend, I’m lucky to get to spend my days with you.  You make me laugh harder than anyone I know.  You can’t wait to be a big girl.  You want to wear makeup and get your ears pierced.  You can use an entire tube of lipstick in one sitting.  You wear a dress everyday and wish you could wear a bikini instead.  You want a “boobie holder.”  You have no filter.  You also talk louder than anyone ever should with your high voice and I can’t get enough.  You make friends with everyone, especially grown ups.  You’re best buddy is our neighbor Jack who’s in his 70’s.  You are so so sweet and kind.  You are sensitive.  You want everyone to be happy.  You really are a grown up trapped in a tiny body.  You have your dad wrapped around your finger and I’m pretty sure he’s never said the word “no” to you.  You memorize songs, I can tell when you’re doing it by the look on your face.  You are so smart and love drawing.  I hope you never ever change.  I love you so bad Ellie B.

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My baby is 1.  It happened so fast and slow all at the same time.  It was the longest and shortest year of my life and all sorts of crazy in between.  I had awful anxiety when I was pregnant with you.  I mean debilitating.  I didn’t want the other three to leave my side.  Sending the kids to school was torture every morning.  I’m so sad for anyone suffering from anxiety, its very real and exhausting to live in such fear all the time.  After all the surgery and recovery I finally went to my midwife for my 6 week check up which was more like 6 month check up and she said to me “Your anxiety was so bad for a reason.  It prepared you for all of this.  To be on high alert and sensitive to Jack’s needs.”  I’ve had more patience with you.  I’ve relaxed a lot because of you.  My whole life I’ve worried about what could happen.  Stressed over things that would never happen.  I never for a minute thought I’d go through what we went through.  I try not to waste my time on the what ifs.  I don’t care about what other people will think.  I don’t have time for that and don’t want to waste the precious time I do have worrying about things that don’t matter.  You put my entire life in perspective, and I thank you for that.  I’ve felt a deeper love for our whole family because of you.  You have changed our lives more than I could have ever imagined.  You are so silly and love to make us laugh.  You are a daredevil.  The complete opposite of your brother.  You climb on everything and usually get stuck.  I always say you are going to be a wild man jumping off the roof of the house.  You say “more” a million times in a row while squeezing your hands.  You say “Hi” to every single person that walks by.  You get called a girl every time, without fail.  When I correct them they say well he’s just too beautiful to be a boy.  I agree you are just too beautiful.  My little slice of heaven on earth.  You are my sunshine.  I love you to the moon and back.  I love you so bad Jack, thank you for letting me be your mom.

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Life Lately

^^^ This picture is childhood perfection.
^^^ This suit might bring out the worst in her.  Little stinker.
^^^ Really is there anything better than your kids loving each other?  I think not.
^^^ We got concrete
^^^ Made Valentines crowns
^^^ Practicing her gymnastics
^^^ Jacks first basketball game.  We decided season tickets are a must next year.
^^^ Jack goes to church.  It was a big deal!
^^^ We wore red to kick off CHD awareness week
^^^ The Gilbert LDS Temple is complete and we took the kids through.  It was amazing.
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